


Thoughts of You

by carolion



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-28
Updated: 2012-03-28
Packaged: 2017-11-02 15:17:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/370415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolion/pseuds/carolion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles can't help but wonder about Derek.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thoughts of You

Stiles doesn’t like thinking about Derek. 

He doesn’t like thinking about Derek, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t _do it_. He’d like to blame it on his ADD, the way his mind leaps from one thing to another, before eventually settling on Derek Hale but that’s not the reason. Not really.

It’s not like he thinks about him all the time or anything - that would be creepy. But usually late at night, when Stiles is trying to fall asleep, trying to take deep breaths, trying to clear his mind, his thoughts will inevitably drift to the mysterious - terrifying - man. Werewolf. _Whatever._

He wonders what Derek is doing right then, at one twenty five in the morning. He could be roaming the woods aimlessly, wolfed out and hunting for - whatever, rabbits or deer, Stiles hopes. Or maybe Derek is awake and brooding, trying to figure a way to keep Scott alive through all his fumbling mistakes - or maybe he’s plotting his very downfall.

But then Stiles wonders if he’s holed up in his wrecked, burnt home, curled up on some derelict mattress, sleeping. He wonders what Derek looks like sleeping, wonders if the dark, angry lines in his face smooth out when he’s asleep, if his lips part as he breathes the shallow, even rhythm of someone completely at rest. Could Derek even _be_ completely at rest? Every time Stiles sees the guy, he’s coiled tight like a spring, always tense and never relaxed. Stiles didn’t think ‘relax’ was even a word in Derek Hale’s vocabulary - he probably sleeps with his fists tightly clenched and one eye open.

But the image of a peaceful Derek won’t leave him, even though Stiles hates his imagination for conjuring up the long lines of his body, the wide expanse of his bare back, the curves of his hips and ass. Stiles wonders what Derek looks like, eyes closed and dark lashes fanning out against his cheeks. He wonders if he’s vulnerable then, like any human would be, sleeping like that in his charred, crypt of a home.

Stiles lies every time he says he’s not afraid of Derek. He’s a freaking werewolf, of course he’s dangerous, and Stiles still isn’t sure whether or not he can trust him because, okay, sure, Derek has helped Scott out of a few tight spots, and he hasn’t eaten Stiles yet or anything, so that’s promising, but Stiles can’t help but feel like there’s more to Derek than just scowls and leather jackets.

He wonders if Derek is lonely. 

Scott had brought it up once, mentioning how Derek was completely shut off from the world - no friends, no family, no lover, no one to turn to - although he did do it while bemoaning his ill-fated love with Allison Argent. (Stiles is willing to forgive his best friend for the one-track mind, considering Allison is pretty hot, and Scott is pretty pathetically in love with her.) And yeah that’s true, Derek is alone but — he wasn’t always.

Derek’s family had burned in a fire when he was still a kid, as young as Scott and Stiles were. He’d lost everything in one moment, all of the people who he trusted and loved, the people who took care of him and protected him. Gone, in an instant. Stiles knows what it’s like to lose a family member - but at least he still had his father. Derek only had his sister. And now even she was gone. 

That sort of thing can fuck a person up, even if that person is a werewolf who scares the shit out of Stiles on a regular basis. 

So maybe Stiles kind of understands why Derek is the way that is. And maybe Stiles spends more time than he should thinking about him. But he can’t help but wonder.


End file.
